Stress Management Strategy

AVOID UNNECESSARY STRESS

Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

1. Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.
2. Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
3. Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
4. Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
5. Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.

ALTER THE SITUATION
If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn’t present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

1. Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.
2. Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
3. Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.
4. Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you’re under.

ADAPT TO THE STRESSOR
If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

1. Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
2. Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
3. Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
4. Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

ACCEPT THE THINGS YOU CAN'T CHANGE
Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.

1. Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control— particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
2. Look for the upside. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
3. Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend face to face or make an appointment with a therapist. The simple act of expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation. Opening up is not a sign of weakness and it won’t make you a burden to others. In fact, most friends will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, and it will only strengthen your bond.
4. Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

How to Be Confident During a Presentation

Speak more. The more you speak to people, or try to communicate with strangers, that you haven't met before, try to improve your communications and your social life. That's the first thing that you need to boost your confidence.

Say NO to nervous. If you're nervous, then for sure you're not considered as 'confident'. To show other people that you're confident enough, is that, you never show them that you're nervous. Especially in front of examiners or interviewers, first thing they will look at is your confidence.

Believe. You have to believe in yourself, believe that you can do it. No matter how hard it is, how scary your friends are, they're still human being like you. So there's nothing you have to worry about when doing your presentation. You're just like a teacher, a teacher never shows their nervousness. Even though, they are, but they believe that they can do it, that they have to present to the class the knowledge they've learned ever since kindergarten. Believe it, YOU'RE the teacher.

Remember: 

• Friends will never eat you. So just present it the way you want.
• Love what you're doing.
• Have a self belief.
• Say no to nervous.
• Just imagine, that you're in your most favourite place, talking and talking, never stop, just imagine all the people in the class are not there, staring at you.

Ways To Overcome Laziness

Laziness is a nasty little affliction that afflicts everyone from time to time. Everyone wonders to themselves from time to time “How can I stop being so lazy?“. Overcoming laziness, or the ability to do things that we do not want to do, is a crucial part of gaining success. Things simply have to get done and we have to do them or make sure they are done. When we come to terms with this fact, that we will have to do unpleasant tasks to become successful, it makes it a whole lot easier to just ‘buckle down’ and do the tasks we know we will have to do at some point anyway.

Success is the result of a few big tasks done and accomplished and a whole bunch of miniscule tasks done and accomplished. Today we are going to focus on how to get all those small tasks done that we just don’t have the desire to do. Lazy people let the small tasks go unfinished for far too long. Successful people make sure those small tasks get done as quick, painless and efficiently as possible. Here is successful people overcame laziness.

How to Stop Being Lazy in 8 Easy Steps

1) Get organized – The most important aspect of overcoming laziness is getting organized. So many times we want to do something productive but the clutter and the junk makes it seem impossible to get anything done and entices us to not even start our task. A nice, clean and organized work space just invites us to do some work and be productive. A cluttered and trashed work space invites us to stay on the couch. Set aside a few hours to devote to organizing work stations – everything from your desk to your computer files to your favorites links on your web browser. Make everything as easy, seamless and efficient to find as possible.

2) Make a ‘to-do’ list every evening before bed – It is imperative to write down our goals so we can visualize exactly what needs to be done. Every single night make a ‘to-do’ list on a notebook or in microsft word and add 5-10 things that must be accomplished the next day. From small tasks like going to the bank to big tasks like finishing up gigantic projects. Everything that needs to be done needs to go on the ‘to-do’ list. No task is too big or too little for the ‘to-do’ list.

3) Complete your ‘to-do’ list first thing in the morning – We all know that feeling of dread, of impending doom, when we know we have to do something but we don’t want to do it. So we put it off and put it off and it just keeps eating at us, making it harder to do the task but still eating us up inside. The only way to get rid of that feeling is to do unpleasant tasks very first thing in the morning and get them overwith. Do all tasks in the morning, starting with the hardest task and ending with the easiest task. After you have completed all your tasks for the day first thing in the morning you have your whole day free knowing you have taken care of business already.

4) Dress the part – A huge factor contributing to laziness is slothful or lazy dress. Wearing a pair of shorts and sandals does not make someone feel like working. On the other hand, wearing a nice button up shirt and a tie does make us feel productive. It makes you want to get stuff done. Every single day you should dress like you are going to an important, high dollar meeting – even if you work from home, even if your company has a casual dress policy, even if you are feeling lazy and don’t want to dress the part. You’ve got to dress for success because it gives you a successful, productive mindset. Always present the best you that is possible.

5) Be hyper-aware of the time – Starting and finishing our ‘to-do’ list at the exact same time every morning is imperative. It’s called habit and routine and it’s what separate the lazy from the productive. When you have a routine and habit it is easy to get stuff done everyday. Having no routine it makes it very hard accomplish anything. Start a routine, set specific times to start and accomplish your goals every single day and always be aware of the time. You never want your allotted end-time to come without finishing what you have started. Watching the clock forces you to work harder and faster to get everything done. We want a definite start time and a definite finish time to complete our ‘to-d0′ list every morning.

6) Keep a notebook – Keeping a notebook on you is highly beneficial. One of the reasons is that ideas often come to us when we are driving down the street, walking down the road, sitting in a train or other places where we aren’t prepared to act on the ideas. Keeping a notebook will let you jot down these ideas, upcoming ‘to-do’ tasks and we can review our notebook each evening when completing our nightly ‘to-do’ list.

7) Have a lazy Sunday – Being productive all week is a great feeling. After being productive it’s ok to take one lazy day per week, and there is no better lazy day than Sunday. The business that matter aren’t open on Sundays, most people don’t take phonecalls or respond to e-mails on Sundays, and taking a lazy Sunday will let you rest and prepare for the most important day of the week – Monday.

8) Have someone else do the unpleasant tasks – Laziness is really just not doing things you don’t want to do. Like calling customer service, or going to the post office and mailing a letter, or balancing the books, or calling back clients, or going to the bank, or calling the airline to change a departure. When we want to do something nothing can stop us, when we don’t want to do something the littlest snag can stop us. Having a personal assistant, co-worker, secretary, wife, girlfriend, or virtual assistant to do these things for us keeps us fresh for the real tasks that we need to accomplish. It’s the 80/20 rule: 20% of the things we do are the most important and matter the most and we enjoy doing them. 80% of the tasks we have to do are minutia that we don’t like doing but have to be done. If someone else can do it – let them!

How to Stop Being Lazy – Things to Remember

• Organization is the very first step to overcoming laziness. When we’ve taken the time to get organized, which is usually the hard part, it’s very easy to get things done with speed and fluidity thereafter.
• Do the unpleasant tasks very first thing in the morning – That includes everything from going to the gym, to logging on to all your online accounts and changing your address, to finishing up the big project.
• A ‘to-do’ list is extremely important because it lets you visualize what needs to be done. Visualization is a key to success.
• Dress for accomplishment because it gives you an accomplishment mindset. Wear nice clothing that A) makes you feel like being productive and B) makes other people think you are productive. You should hear “Whoa, looking good Mr. Fancy Pants!” very frequently.
• The current time is your friend. Always be aware of the time and what you need to be doing at that very time – even if it’s time for relaxation.
• Enjoy a lazy Sunday – but don’t let the laziness carry over to Monday. Monday is business time. Monday morning you should always hit the ground running full speed – and don’t stop ’til it’s Saturday night.

How To Be A Tough Girl

Tips

1.  Choose friends wisely. Choose friends that have their own opinions, but are willing to support you.
2.  Being tough isn't about looking mean and having bulging biceps, it's about being able to take whatever comes. Be capable and confident. A tough girl doesn't cry over a broken nail or when insulted by someone. Cultivate an inner calm that can't be unsettled by other people.
3. Most importantly, remember that you are tough, not mean. Bullying people doesn't show your strength at all. It only shows how weak you are on the inside. And if any one starts bullying you, walk away! It will prove you are stronger than the people bullying you.
4. Remember that confidence is important. You can walk around acting tough all day long, but if you are easily upset, your toughness will be perceived as a façade. Work hard, if you are soft, to at least pretend to have overcome that. Go away a minute, then say, "Hey, if you think something you do or say will upset me, you're wrong. Understand me?" It will clarify them and boost your self-confidence.
5. Just because you're tough, doesn't mean you have to trash all your girly hobbies. If you like to sing, then sing. If you love to make-up, then don't quit!
6. It's not a good idea to keep all emotions inside. If anything, let them out in private, maybe in a journal or something.
7. Don't walk around looking angry, this will make you appear unapproachable and unfriendly. Just look neutral. Finding neutral is a key thing. If you are happy, then put a smile on that face of yours.

Bob Marley Inspires Me

You may not be her first,her last, or her only. She loved you before she may love you again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's no t there. - Bob Marley

MOVE FORWARD

Here are the Seven Steps that you need to take to move forward and recover from the end of a break-up.

1. Recognize that you won't feel this badly forever. While you're in the midst of it, you can't see that time will heal . . . but it  will.

2. Accept that the relationship really is over. People keep hanging on, hoping that things will improve when they know that there's no hope. It prolongs the pain.

3. Integrate the fact that your former partner has changed and may be beyond caring for your welfare. As much as you just wish that you could bring him or her back to the way they used to be, they have already moved on.

4. Understand why he/she needs to justify his/her actions any way possible-including rewriting history, lying or attacking you. In order to avoid feeling so guilty, the person who leaves often exaggerates any negatives in the relationship to help them feel better.

5. Give up trying to get the acknowledgment and apology that you deserve. You can't always get closure - you have to know when to cut your losses and just give up trying.

6. Turn your focus from the past to the future. It takes a conscious effort to stop ruminating on the past and start planning for your future.

7. Celebrate your new life as a single person. Life is long and there is always a chance for happiness if you look for it!

MOVE ON GIRL

14 things to start doing now:

1. Find your happiness from within
2. Be grateful for the wonderful things in your life
3. Find your passions and focus on them
4. Get healthy from the inside out
5. Focus on the present moment and know that all is well
6. Connect and spend time with your family and friends
7. Enjoy hobbies and activities that you've been meaning to do
8. Do things to refresh, renew and soothe your soul
9. Exercise and workout
10. Listen to uplifting music
11. Keep a journal
12. Read positive books
13. Create a bucket list and start doing things on your list
14. Apply lessons (what you've learned) from your past relationships to create your ideal love life

Be patient and gentle with yourself during this time. It takes courage to move forward and becomes easier once you start. Try a few of the stops and starts. As you become comfortable with them, take on additional ones.

MOVING ON TIPS

If you've recently broken up with the supposed love of your life, here are 14 sure-fire ways to get over him and move on to greener pastures.

MAKE YOURSELF OVER

Avoid those awkward post-breakup run-ins with your ex at the grocery store, where he's looking irresistibly cute — and you're sporting sloppy trackies and a greasy ponytail. If you start looking hot around the clock, you'll begin feeling sexier and more confident.

PAMPER YOURSELF

Treat yourself to weekly at-home manicures and pedicures. Not only will you have polished and shiny nails, but your weekly appointment with yourself spent pampering and preening will keep you distracted and busy.

REMEMBER HIS BAD SIDE

Create a list of all the things you didn't like about your ex: include EVERYTHING, from how he bit his nails to his possessive attitude. Keep the list in your handbag and break it out every time you're tempted to call or text him!

START A BLOG

Create a blog under and anonymous name, and vent away.

START A HOBBY

Ever wanted to learn Tai Chi? Or enroll in an Italian cooking class? Or take a course in photography? With all of your new free time, this is the perfect time to take on a project you've always wanted to do.

TAKE A TRIP

If you're finding it tough seeing the same familiar spots that you two used to frequent as a couple, grab your best girlfriends and head out of town for the weekend.

DON'T FREQUENT HIS FAVOURITE HANGOUTS

I know you're hoping to bump into him, but you just might get what you wish for. How much will it suck if he ignores you? Or — worse still — what if he has new female company, already? Save yourself the heartache: don't go there. Literally.

DON'T CALL HIM

Or text. Or email. Or Skype. The only way to truly move on is to break off all communications.

BREAK A SWEAT

Hitting the gym will not only make you feel better about yourself, but it'll help you get rid of any 'relationship weight' you may have gained while you and your ex were together.

GO OUT WITH THE GIRLS

The best part of a break up is reconnecting with your girlfriends. Plan a girl's night in with DVDs, snacks and sharing gossips, or head out for a night of singing and dancing.

GET RID OF HIS STUFF

If he's left any of his things at your place, pack them into a box and ask a friend to return them to him.

TRY A NEW HAIRSTYLE

It's the classic post-split ritual, but there is something liberating about changing your hairstyle after a breakup. Just don't do anything drastic, like lobbing off all of your locks — down the track when you're feeling better, you may live to regret it.

KEEP YOUR OWN STYLE

Don't be temped to overhaul your entire wardrobe in an attempt to reinvent yourself. It's expensive and unnecessary — you're lovely just the way you are.

CLEAN THE HOUSE

If ever the timing was right for a spring clean, this is it! Start with your wardrobe and cabinets, and move through to the living room and kitchen. Getting rid of your old crap and his old crap at the same time is the ultimate cleanse!

JUST LET GO

I wrote this poem when I was going through a hard time dealing with a break-up. I was watching TV, and I heard the words "You've gotta learn to just let go". Those words really stuck with me. So I grabbed my notebook and started writing. I hope this poem helps some of you get through those hard break-ups. 

We had a lot of fun

When we were together

I'll never forget

I'll always remember

The laughs that we shared

The dreams that we had

But those dreams changed

And they left me sad

I know you've moved on

And found someone new

But I have to admit

I still wish for you

This isn't healthy for me

I really need to stop

When I think about our past

My heart wants to pop

So as I say my last goodbye

I want you to know

That I'm trying my best

To learn to just let go

Moving ON.

As someone who has had breakups before, let me just say these words — it gets easier, the more you have faith in yourself and the goodness that your life is about to be filled with the faster you heal and the faster you get there my friend. When in doubt just read this poem by a wise person:

I feared being alone
Until I learned to like Myself.
I feared failure
Until I realized that I only Fail when I don’t try.
I feared success
Until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself.

I feared people’s opinions
Until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway.
I feared rejection
Until I learned to have faith in myself.
I feared pain
Until I learned that it’s necessary for growth.

I feared the truth
Until I saw the ugliness in lies.
I feared life
Until I experienced its beauty .
I feared death
Until I realized that it’s not an end, but a beginning.

I feared my destiny,
Until I realized that I had the power to change my life.
I feared hate
Until I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance.
I feared love
Until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days.

I feared ridicule
Until I learned how to laugh at myself.
I feared growing old
Until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.
I feared the future
Until I realized that Life just kept getting better.
I feared the past
Until I realized that It could no longer hurt me.

I feared the dark
Until I saw the beauty of the starlight.
I feared the light
Until I learned that the Truth would give me Strength.
I feared change,
Until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a Metamorphosis before it could fly.

Things A Girl Wishes Her Better Half Knew

• When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.
• When she misses you, she’s hurting inside.
• When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.
• When she is mad and walks away from you, follow her.
• When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.
• When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.
• When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
• When she ignores you, give her your attention.
• When she pulls away, pull her back.
• When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.
• When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.
• When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
• When she’s scared, protect her.
• When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
• When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
• When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
• When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
• When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.
• When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.
• When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
• When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.
• When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
• When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.
• Stay on the phone with her, even if she’s not saying anything.
• Don’t let her have the last word.
• Say you love her more than she could ever love you.
• Argue that she is the best girl ever.
• When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.
• When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it. Talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later, she’ll still remember.
• Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.
• Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.
• Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.
• Don’t ignore her, when she’s out with you and your friends.
• Stay up all night with her, when she’s sick.
• Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show, even if you think it’s stupid.
• Let her into your world.
• Let her wear your clothes.
• Let her know she’s important.
• Kiss her in the pouring rain.
• When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is, “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?
• After she reads this, she hopes one day you’d read it too.

Truly Sorry

So I've been feeling like a bad person lately.Like,the guilt I have bottled up is taking it's toll on me.I hate how I always lash out,fight and hurt the ones I love most.I don't understand why I keep doing it and by hurting the ones I love,eventually,I will start hurting myself.I mean,those are the people who've been for and with me in every dark hour I've been through and how do I repay them? I can't even forgive myself for who Iam,who I've become and I don't know how or when it started.I just want it to stop.I want to stop hurting the people I love,I want to stop thinking all about my feelings and start being considerate of other people's feelings too. I just,have never felt this horrible about myself before.I just feel like rewinding back to the moment where I was about to hurt them,take it back,rethink all of my actions and change it.Well,no use regretting now,what's done is done.Hoping I'll get another chance to redeem myself.But deep down inside,even I wouldn't forgive myself.If anyone's ever felt horrible because of what I may have said or done,I am truly sorry.This goes out to anyone who is reading this.

Heart Expressed .

Just like you, I have many roles in my life, I’ve spent time learning my way around blogging and social media (which fascinate me, by the way). No matter what role I’m working on in my life, however, I’ve always found time to write. From short stories to the novel I’m working on right now, creative writing is something I simply love to do. Up until recently, the things I wrote pretty much stayed in notebooks and computers, getting forgotten as the years went by.

Expressing The Feelings of My Heart

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go to write it down, and either you over dramatize it, or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to. Because I trust in the ever-changing climate of the heart. (At least, today I feel that way.) I think it is necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something; for the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive, to offer something to someone else, to learn what we are capable of. So, Keep your best wishes, close to your heart and watch what happens .

Heavy Feeling

There it goes again, that heavy feeling in your chest when you don't feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try you can't seem to connect to anyone or anything .