MOVE FORWARD

Here are the Seven Steps that you need to take to move forward and recover from the end of a break-up.

1. Recognize that you won't feel this badly forever. While you're in the midst of it, you can't see that time will heal . . . but it  will.

2. Accept that the relationship really is over. People keep hanging on, hoping that things will improve when they know that there's no hope. It prolongs the pain.

3. Integrate the fact that your former partner has changed and may be beyond caring for your welfare. As much as you just wish that you could bring him or her back to the way they used to be, they have already moved on.

4. Understand why he/she needs to justify his/her actions any way possible-including rewriting history, lying or attacking you. In order to avoid feeling so guilty, the person who leaves often exaggerates any negatives in the relationship to help them feel better.

5. Give up trying to get the acknowledgment and apology that you deserve. You can't always get closure - you have to know when to cut your losses and just give up trying.

6. Turn your focus from the past to the future. It takes a conscious effort to stop ruminating on the past and start planning for your future.

7. Celebrate your new life as a single person. Life is long and there is always a chance for happiness if you look for it!

MOVE ON GIRL

14 things to start doing now:

1. Find your happiness from within
2. Be grateful for the wonderful things in your life
3. Find your passions and focus on them
4. Get healthy from the inside out
5. Focus on the present moment and know that all is well
6. Connect and spend time with your family and friends
7. Enjoy hobbies and activities that you've been meaning to do
8. Do things to refresh, renew and soothe your soul
9. Exercise and workout
10. Listen to uplifting music
11. Keep a journal
12. Read positive books
13. Create a bucket list and start doing things on your list
14. Apply lessons (what you've learned) from your past relationships to create your ideal love life

Be patient and gentle with yourself during this time. It takes courage to move forward and becomes easier once you start. Try a few of the stops and starts. As you become comfortable with them, take on additional ones.

MOVING ON TIPS

If you've recently broken up with the supposed love of your life, here are 14 sure-fire ways to get over him and move on to greener pastures.

MAKE YOURSELF OVER

Avoid those awkward post-breakup run-ins with your ex at the grocery store, where he's looking irresistibly cute — and you're sporting sloppy trackies and a greasy ponytail. If you start looking hot around the clock, you'll begin feeling sexier and more confident.

PAMPER YOURSELF

Treat yourself to weekly at-home manicures and pedicures. Not only will you have polished and shiny nails, but your weekly appointment with yourself spent pampering and preening will keep you distracted and busy.

REMEMBER HIS BAD SIDE

Create a list of all the things you didn't like about your ex: include EVERYTHING, from how he bit his nails to his possessive attitude. Keep the list in your handbag and break it out every time you're tempted to call or text him!

START A BLOG

Create a blog under and anonymous name, and vent away.

START A HOBBY

Ever wanted to learn Tai Chi? Or enroll in an Italian cooking class? Or take a course in photography? With all of your new free time, this is the perfect time to take on a project you've always wanted to do.

TAKE A TRIP

If you're finding it tough seeing the same familiar spots that you two used to frequent as a couple, grab your best girlfriends and head out of town for the weekend.

DON'T FREQUENT HIS FAVOURITE HANGOUTS

I know you're hoping to bump into him, but you just might get what you wish for. How much will it suck if he ignores you? Or — worse still — what if he has new female company, already? Save yourself the heartache: don't go there. Literally.

DON'T CALL HIM

Or text. Or email. Or Skype. The only way to truly move on is to break off all communications.

BREAK A SWEAT

Hitting the gym will not only make you feel better about yourself, but it'll help you get rid of any 'relationship weight' you may have gained while you and your ex were together.

GO OUT WITH THE GIRLS

The best part of a break up is reconnecting with your girlfriends. Plan a girl's night in with DVDs, snacks and sharing gossips, or head out for a night of singing and dancing.

GET RID OF HIS STUFF

If he's left any of his things at your place, pack them into a box and ask a friend to return them to him.

TRY A NEW HAIRSTYLE

It's the classic post-split ritual, but there is something liberating about changing your hairstyle after a breakup. Just don't do anything drastic, like lobbing off all of your locks — down the track when you're feeling better, you may live to regret it.

KEEP YOUR OWN STYLE

Don't be temped to overhaul your entire wardrobe in an attempt to reinvent yourself. It's expensive and unnecessary — you're lovely just the way you are.

CLEAN THE HOUSE

If ever the timing was right for a spring clean, this is it! Start with your wardrobe and cabinets, and move through to the living room and kitchen. Getting rid of your old crap and his old crap at the same time is the ultimate cleanse!

JUST LET GO

I wrote this poem when I was going through a hard time dealing with a break-up. I was watching TV, and I heard the words "You've gotta learn to just let go". Those words really stuck with me. So I grabbed my notebook and started writing. I hope this poem helps some of you get through those hard break-ups. 

We had a lot of fun

When we were together

I'll never forget

I'll always remember

The laughs that we shared

The dreams that we had

But those dreams changed

And they left me sad

I know you've moved on

And found someone new

But I have to admit

I still wish for you

This isn't healthy for me

I really need to stop

When I think about our past

My heart wants to pop

So as I say my last goodbye

I want you to know

That I'm trying my best

To learn to just let go

Moving ON.

As someone who has had breakups before, let me just say these words — it gets easier, the more you have faith in yourself and the goodness that your life is about to be filled with the faster you heal and the faster you get there my friend. When in doubt just read this poem by a wise person:

I feared being alone
Until I learned to like Myself.
I feared failure
Until I realized that I only Fail when I don’t try.
I feared success
Until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself.

I feared people’s opinions
Until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway.
I feared rejection
Until I learned to have faith in myself.
I feared pain
Until I learned that it’s necessary for growth.

I feared the truth
Until I saw the ugliness in lies.
I feared life
Until I experienced its beauty .
I feared death
Until I realized that it’s not an end, but a beginning.

I feared my destiny,
Until I realized that I had the power to change my life.
I feared hate
Until I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance.
I feared love
Until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days.

I feared ridicule
Until I learned how to laugh at myself.
I feared growing old
Until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.
I feared the future
Until I realized that Life just kept getting better.
I feared the past
Until I realized that It could no longer hurt me.

I feared the dark
Until I saw the beauty of the starlight.
I feared the light
Until I learned that the Truth would give me Strength.
I feared change,
Until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a Metamorphosis before it could fly.

Things A Girl Wishes Her Better Half Knew

• When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.
• When she misses you, she’s hurting inside.
• When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.
• When she is mad and walks away from you, follow her.
• When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.
• When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.
• When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
• When she ignores you, give her your attention.
• When she pulls away, pull her back.
• When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.
• When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.
• When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
• When she’s scared, protect her.
• When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
• When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
• When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
• When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
• When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.
• When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.
• When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
• When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.
• When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
• When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.
• Stay on the phone with her, even if she’s not saying anything.
• Don’t let her have the last word.
• Say you love her more than she could ever love you.
• Argue that she is the best girl ever.
• When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.
• When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it. Talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later, she’ll still remember.
• Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.
• Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.
• Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.
• Don’t ignore her, when she’s out with you and your friends.
• Stay up all night with her, when she’s sick.
• Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show, even if you think it’s stupid.
• Let her into your world.
• Let her wear your clothes.
• Let her know she’s important.
• Kiss her in the pouring rain.
• When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is, “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?
• After she reads this, she hopes one day you’d read it too.

Truly Sorry

So I've been feeling like a bad person lately.Like,the guilt I have bottled up is taking it's toll on me.I hate how I always lash out,fight and hurt the ones I love most.I don't understand why I keep doing it and by hurting the ones I love,eventually,I will start hurting myself.I mean,those are the people who've been for and with me in every dark hour I've been through and how do I repay them? I can't even forgive myself for who Iam,who I've become and I don't know how or when it started.I just want it to stop.I want to stop hurting the people I love,I want to stop thinking all about my feelings and start being considerate of other people's feelings too. I just,have never felt this horrible about myself before.I just feel like rewinding back to the moment where I was about to hurt them,take it back,rethink all of my actions and change it.Well,no use regretting now,what's done is done.Hoping I'll get another chance to redeem myself.But deep down inside,even I wouldn't forgive myself.If anyone's ever felt horrible because of what I may have said or done,I am truly sorry.This goes out to anyone who is reading this.

Heart Expressed .

Just like you, I have many roles in my life, I’ve spent time learning my way around blogging and social media (which fascinate me, by the way). No matter what role I’m working on in my life, however, I’ve always found time to write. From short stories to the novel I’m working on right now, creative writing is something I simply love to do. Up until recently, the things I wrote pretty much stayed in notebooks and computers, getting forgotten as the years went by.

Expressing The Feelings of My Heart

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go to write it down, and either you over dramatize it, or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to. Because I trust in the ever-changing climate of the heart. (At least, today I feel that way.) I think it is necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something; for the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive, to offer something to someone else, to learn what we are capable of. So, Keep your best wishes, close to your heart and watch what happens .

Heavy Feeling

There it goes again, that heavy feeling in your chest when you don't feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try you can't seem to connect to anyone or anything .

11 Painful Things

1. Bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget

2. Reminiscing the good times

3. Trying to hide what you really feel 

4. Loving someone who loves another

5. Having a commitment with someone you know would not last

6. Shielding your heart to love somebody

7. Loving a person too much

8. Right love at the wrong time

9. Taking risk to fall in love again 

10. Accepting that it was never meant to be 

11. What ifs ..

Hard to Let Go

Just friends..?

Could I ever find it in myself to be just friends with someone who claimed he loved me yet treated me unfairly. Who asked for kindness from me but treated me with cruelty when I wanted reassurance.

I cannot even think of the past or future with him now.

I am finding it hard to put together the puzzle- the person he says he is and the selfish words coming from his mouth & his actions thus far. I feel I have been lied to, manipulated, and tossed aside. Like a plaything of a child.

I ask myself if I am being vindictive. But its a quiet, tired voice that says.. “Enough.. enough. Its time to move on.”

My diary is littered with pieces of my heart. Its not the first time I felt this way.

What is keeping me calm is reading this book

“A Call to Compassion- Bringing Buddhist Practices of the Heart into the Soul of Psychology” by Aura Glaser.

It is a book written with much love for humanity and self. It is just 207 pages, but its been one of the best books I ever read on compassion in the Buddhist form.

—-

I feel that I had progressed a little over this past year. I had moments of clarity and gratitude to the world. I felt lighter. Then when I thought I was ready to move on & remove my emotional ties to him, his confession put me in a tailspin. I was not as grounded as I thought, and in hindsight, this was a major setback for me.

I have to acknowledge my emotions to myself, even if it is hard to let anyone know. I will try not to wallow if I can help it.

I think about vengeance, in the form of wanting to be someone he will regret leaving- then these thoughts seem funny for a laugh and a small wise voice tells me to be compassionate to myself. I think its a result of reading the book by Aura..

There is this aphorism in the book which says “Be grateful to everyone” or “Meditate on everyone as kind”. It means, even “those who insult and irritate us are the most difficult subjects for gratitude, and the most fruitful. [..] Contemplating the kindness of others means hat, whatever their intentions, we can still benefit from whatever others do. Rather than submit to resentment or hatred, rather than nursing a grudge or denying a problem, we opt for a way to further open the heart. [...] Being grateful to everyone means also being grateful for everything. It means just being grateful- unconditionally. Be grateful for the difficulties, and be grateful for the relief of these difficulties.”

It is all very wise.. & hard to do.. but I shall try to see this whole situation as beneficial.

What every girl should know :)

I think most girls, including myself, are too busy trying to please someone that we all forget what we’re made of. We’re all seeking to be the perfect girl that we didn’t even realize that being ourselves is a lot better than trying to be someone we are not. We try to change for someone who wouldn’t even look at us in the first place. We try our best to be the girl that he ‘wants’ rather than showing him that even though we are not ‘perfect’ in every angle, we will make him happy and loved. Please realize that if you want to change for the better, do it for yourself, not because someone would love you that way. Would it be sweeter if he loves you for who you are?

It’s hard to pull off a mask forever. Don’t be who you’re not. Trust me, what’s inside that mask will soon find his man. I realized that I don’t need to wear a mask to impress people. It’s always the heart that matters. Your character is so much important than the appearance. I know it’s a cliché to say that. But it’s true. There are still guys out there who would prefer to have a girl that would love them and be with them against odds. So whenever you look in the mirror, please don’t say that you’re not good enough.

Someday, someone would fall for you for who you are-for what truly matters.